CROSSROADS

Leading article - The modern nuclear family?

Tradition has it that after the Ascension of Jesus, St John, the disciple whom Jesus
loved, eventually made his home in Ephesus. The remains of Ephesus still stand to this
day in modern Turkey. St John’s Tomb, over which is built a huge basilica, stands on a
hillside outside the city. The tradition that John preached and lived in Ephesus is strong,
and his tomb was venerated there from earliest times

On the Cross, Jesus asked John to care for his mother: “Thereafter the disciple took her
to his own home.” In Ephesus there is a simple first-century stone house, which is
called the House of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Consequently there has also been a strong
tradition of Mary living in Ephesus; and hence the identification of a first century house
as her home.

By coincidence, about 400 years afterwards, it was to the city of Ephesus that the
Church called its bishops together from across the known world, to meet in a great
ecumenical council. In that council, Mary was a significant part of the discussion,
and she was given the title Theotokos, which means God-bearer, the one who brings
God into the world; and most often, in English as Mother of God.

Mary was, of course, a follower of Jesus also; was present at the crucifixion, and at
Pentecost. It is as Mother of God that most Christians know her. In her capacity as
mother of our Lord, she sits at the core of the Holy Family—Jesus, Mary, and Joseph—
and so has become patron to many societies and organisations which consider
themselves as upholding ‘family values’, such as the Mothers’ Union.

But in our culture, especially in its more conservative bedrock, a whole set of notions
of family values have been created which may have nothing to do with the gospel and
more to do with a misguided image. Many talk of an image of what used to be called
the “nuclear family”: mum and dad and the two-point-four children. Furthermore, this
nuclear family is believed to form the moral backbone of society, and which must be
protected from any kind of distortion, without regard to society itself.

For many younger members of our society, the image of the nuclear family just does
not ring true. Many parents are single people living together or apart. Some parents just
do not want the formality of a legally binding marriage service, whether church or state.
We find, time and time again, that only one parent is involved in bringing up the child
and not always the mother.

If the Church thinks that family life is always mum, dad and two-point-four children,
then I would suggest that it is hiding from the truth. Society has always been
complicated and it is no different now, except that people are more open and honest.
We need to reconcile ourselves to the truth of family life and be ready to reach out and
greet individuals and families who may not fit the mum, dad and two-point-four
children image.

This understanding and reality must be accepted if the Church if to become the full
image of God’s Created Family here in Ashford.

Father Chris

The Editor

Crossroads is our in-house magazine and is published monthly with news and information for the community of St Hilda's

The Editor of Crossroads is Chris Maddock who can be contacted by e-mail to: Crossroads@sthilda.org.